No thought ruled her mind - just a huge weight pressed her eyelids.
How long lasted all this? Was there any particular significance – no, she came back in the life, her body got warmth, lungs filled with air, the lips dissolved , her hand trembled.
There were people around , but they were so far... First thing fleshed in her empty mind was like waterfall … splashing water.. and some soft warmth of her face..
She like to open the eyes, but did not succeed ….something choked her throat, than suddenly she felt wet on the lips.
She strained forces , open her eyes and looked the world expecting her... faces... faces.. than shut eyes again and heard a quite voice calling her DAOLA, DAOLA...
She opened the eyes again, now she definitely understood: was thawed and alive - back from the long icy sleep.
Later she realized - on the earth have been passed 40 years – the critical time for her body and mind. And for doctors – the longest period for a successful experiment.
When preparing for the freezing she thought of herself as an experiment but she didn’t worry at all.
Decision was taken very quickly, since long time she had not to lose anything more – no will or desire for any new steps.
Exactly this gave reason for her decision – she felt how her life expire and did not want to stop a soft murmurous flow of her last time.
Her mind was still fresh, her insights – unexpected, but she wanted to keep they only for herself – she never was dominate by vanity of recognition , now less than ever.
For weeks nobody called - the people who understand her was so few …
On other hand the global village knew her from various sites for art and intellect and her virtual friendships were warmer than the real ones.
Even this could last forever.
There was only one reason which kept her long on the surface of life – Ankit, her young Indian son, who gifted her such love and tenderness. She often ask herself how she earn this bright affection.
Actually this was the last miracle in her lief – she believed firmly the life is woven of miracles and we have only to find them and enjoy.
When her only son had gone at 22, she thought the miracles are dead for her.
Long time she opposed to continue her previous life and left the hours and days roll ahead, capturing some little light only not to sink into the great darkness.
From the side her life seemed normal and interesting, but she knew this is only life after life.
And than happened what was not even dreamed in her confused scary fiction dreams.
In an Internet site that tests the brain and mind a 18 year old boy crossed her path with some self created quizzes– she prized him with warm words for his bubbling desire to create - what exactly was not yet clear.
Sweet and careful with everybody there, the boy wrote - he is touched by her evaluation. She uploaded photos but he didn’t –so she got a message, it is clear she is much older than he –ie smarter and he invited her to join his group Creativity matters.
Than she read his rhyming – he didn’t call it poetry – it was only something like a game he proposed to the people to share .
Something warm and strange wrapped her - something what she didn’t have meet in the meager life of the surrounding youth – so she wrote: she is much elder than he, I am your Mom – said she.
And than she got the messages he had really felt like her son and thanked for the honor.
Without hesitation she left the messages of the young Indian embraced her with warmth of a culture she never touched before.
So Daola met India, met the warmest Indian heart which the fate sent her on the final path.
And she just sank in that love for a son, not even been seen with her eyes , but his heart and mind recognized as very precious and special in this terrible world of confused objectives and directions, which threatened to blew up.
How she could imagine that after the lost, depriving her from future in the feelings, she would want only to immerse in the light of this strange friendship Mom-Son – Europe-Asia.
And when the Indian boy flooded her with such gentle words usual for his tradition, but dead long before even in the poetry of her Bulgaria, she felt herself strangely alive and even young.
But nothing would be so wonderful, if she didn’t know that this boy growing in a modern IT time , filling with Internet and basketball his leisure, has some strange depths he still didn’t realize.
In his rhyming written on that shortened Internet made English, language well studied from the early years in the school, he showed her his seeking and suffering soul - open as on confession - away from the cliches and pretense of the modern tech world.
“Borrow some light on this falling voice “ - actually such light he borrowed her and she didn’t want to loose it for long time ... the young Indian boy had become her closest person, albeit thousands of miles.
The major concern of her life became he and his future.
She had not his photo, but she saw him with her heart and knew that everything in his rhymes and messages is on his lovely face.
At last he sent some photos taken during a new years fest in a home of some friends and wrote who is he, she smiled because she would recognized him anyway.
She looked the photo of the boy who so suddenly entered her life as a revelation and a secret she never would completely to solve.
When she was the most lonely, she turned back to the rhyming they wrote each other - unexpected she started to write poems on English, because of him.
They told each other what they thought no fear of the other and even gaze in the Internet sites.
India entered her heart without trips or tiring reading, no yoga and Buddhism - she met free India – Asia country , but in the same time in the modern world.
A girl of many about him in the sites, drown by the same warmth, asked about his religion and he faithful to his openness, when the others fought fierce debate on Islam and something else, answered her : no nations, no race, no religions...The 19 years old student from Kanpur sent his message to the torn by prejudice modern Western world.
When he called for first time on Skype no seeing each other - they hadn’t web cams – and they talked till midnight in Sofia and in Kanpur almost 3 overnight -she went to bed and slept quietly as her son was breathing in the next room.
They celebrated their common birthday 9-10 November – never at the same place,but always together in their feelings.
All this continued several years – he entered his path and she was pleased that her faith in his talent and heart made him stronger and more decisive.
He joined a computer center for management of Indian space program as she predicted him in the first year of their internet meeting.
Actually he always believed her – his good witch sent by fate.
She want to keep this love forever so she took the decision to disappear .
And it will be so as Rabindranath Tagore wrote, knowing her ahead of time, in his UNENDNDING LOVE
I SEEM TO HAVE LOVED YOU
IN NIMBERLESS FORMS
NUMBERLESS TIMES....
IN LIFE AFTER LIFE -
IN AGE AFTER AGE-
FOREVER...
She knew – her Ankit didn’t need her anymore – he have to face all his meetings, loves, disappointments, battles, suffering and victories alone.
She didn’t tell him anything – no heart to look at his eyes, because if she did she would be back on their way and want to stay forever with him.
She asked Dr Nason to tell him she got a stroke and was found too late.
She didn’t leave him a letter. She wrote so many times saying him how she loves him, he is her prince, her Indian little sun, he is her infinity … actually those was her most beautiful poem. Once she asked him what is the longest distance between two points and he wrote at Skype chat – INFINITY...Later she dedicated him a sonnet like Shakespeare and told him – he, only he is her infinity.
She was ordered to everything and was lying relaxed in the freezing tub. The son of Dr.Nason – just graduated in MA and now assisting his father – later he would take care of her..
She realized she is alive and started to notice some faces...The man who was bending over her, smiled , obviously he knew her...
- Daola, well come back – she heard his voice - I am Donald Nason
She opened widely her eyes – her brain worked perfectly – yes, Donald, the son.
Later she have to ask about everything.
Than followed lengthy procedures on her rebirth – so called she all this later.
Passed months of somnolence, semi-consciousness, semi life, but her memories came back with such intrusive force and this make her a winner – no small portion of her brain was dead.
And when she could get out of bed and walk she asked Donald
My Ankit ?
He smiled waiting this question and did not hurry to answer , but seeing her face to darken said:
He is the chief of the Technological control center of Indo-Europa.
Indo-Europa?
Yes, Daola since 10 years Indo-Europa is the most important grouping of countries in our world.
He is the master chief? Her soul rejoicing – Ankit, her son !
When she got the permission to meet him – she risen from other world without batting an eyelid - now was on the verge of nervous breakdown.
My Lord, thought she, I was lulled to sleep , frozen for decades, almost killed, but all in my heart remains forever.
In her soul revived the feelings which had given meaning to the last years of her life.
And she saw in her memories that sweet boy with some sad eyes and the beautiful dimple in his chin – this face was lighting up every moment of her life.
Now, at lest, she understood how she was right - this love so endless had to become a death and after than could continue, because where the time intersects with itself they will meet again – no matter who is who- man, father, son – mother, sister or lover.
And now after more than 40 years she had to meet him.
They want to tell her something about him, but she didn’t want to hear ..
It was impossible without to warn him – warn for whom?
How to happen have to be her decision , but long time she could not come up with anything acceptable.
He would recognize her at the moment, she was his Mom...gone long time ago...
But she him, after 40 years ? No, she didn’t want any picture.
They have to be alone – alone whatever happens...
After a scientific conference and his final speech he has an appointment with some inventor in an adjacent room. No scholar at all...
Daola sat in a chair and waited for him – the last moment his secretary would be back for something forgotten.
He opened the door and she saw her Ankit – the same hair, slightly graying, same deep warm eyes and the dimple in the chin – he loved so much.
How terrible handsome was her son in his dark suit and shiny white shirt.
For an instant she remember the scar on his right eyebrow, she saw in her dream,before he told her about what happened on the stairs. That morning awoke she had the feeling – she was wounded in the heart not he on the face.
She raised up very slowly and crossed to him with the feeling now is happening the most important thing in whole her life – lives...
He stood by the door a few seconds , try to say something, tears steamed from his eyes, he rushed and took her in his arms...
Mom... Mom...
Before her voice broke Daola whispered:
It’s me my son, I was frozen, a long frozen sleep, it’s me, my love...
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